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by ERIKA CASTILLO

For at least 5,000 years — and possibly 5,000 more — humans have known that consuming a malt-flavored beverage made from fermented yeast was the perfect way to celebrate a fresh romance or to cure an aching heart.

Now, everyone has their own gift-giving philosophy when it comes to Valentine’s Day gift giving. Chocolate, flowers and wine may be the standard gifts… but if you’re anything like me, a delicious ice cold beer, coupled with a foot rub is really the only way to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

I’ve listed my favorite Valentine’s Day beers for you hitched couples, crazy lovers, casual daters and solo seekers. I also threw in some fun Valentine’s Day facts to either start… or end the conversation.

For the Hitched Couple: Abita Purple Haze Flavored Raspberry Wheat

Purple Haze has a perfect fruity aroma and is tartly sweet, just like any married couple. One day you are enjoying gardening together and the next you can’t stand the way they sip coffee. Regardless, your relationship always stands strong, much like Abita’s brewery that survived the destruction caused by Hurricane Katrina.

♥ V-Day Fun Fact No. 1: Since ancient times, the month of February has long been associated with love and fertility. Valentine’s Day evolved from both Christian and Roman traditions.

For The Crazy Lovers: Angry Orchard

This hard cider is mixed with bitter sweet apples, giving it a fabulously tart flavor. You may get all mixed up in your wild relationship, but it’s always sweet in the end.

♥ V-Day Fun Fact No. 2: Although the story is almost certainly apocryphal, the first Valentine’s card is said to have been sent in 270 AD from prison by St. Valentine, who was jailed by Roman Emperor Claudius II for secretly marrying young lovers in defiance of pagan law.

For The Casual Dater: Indio Beer

This dark lager has an amber hue with a caramel taste. Just like a non-commital guy or gal, Indio just doesn’t take itself too seriously… but isn’t that part of the fun?

♥ V-Day Fun Fact No. 3: Did you know that the Saint Valentine’s Day massacre is the name given to the 1929 murder of seven mob associates as part of a prohibition era conflict between two powerful criminal gangs in Chicago.

For the Solo Seekers: Andy Gator

Andy Gator has a dry finish, slightly sweet flavor and fruity aroma. This effortless beer is perfect for those of you flying solo… and with an ABV of 8 percent, you can be your own cheap date.

♥ V-Day Fun Fact No. 4: The earliest known card in existence was sent by Charles, Duke of Orleans in 1415 to his wife while he was a prisoner in the Tower of London. It is housed in the British Museum.

Maybe you need to get up the courage to tell your true love how you feel. Maybe you just need to relax, enjoy a nice evening and talk about why Valentine’s Day is stupid. Either way, a case of that delicious, special brew might just be that perfect little extra something on Valentine’s Day. I say extra because I don’t want you fellas to forget the jewelry… we still like that, too.

San Antonio resident ERIKA CASTILLO writes for FUNCTIONAL GIRL, a lifestyles media company founded by Kyle resident CJ Legare. The story is reprinted through a content partnership between Functional Girl and the San Marcos Mercury.