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I’m the one on the leftPresidential Idol

I don’t know about you (although I’m sure I will find out) but I am totally over this whole presidential campaign. Its cliche to say that the 2008 election campaign started the day that the ’04 election ended (or was it the day the recounts were finished?) but come on… I have never witnessed an election cycle that lasted so long. (I think that may have been the longest run-on sentence ever written.)

Think about this. Newborns at the 2004 election are getting ready to enter grade school now. Car notes begun then, are now paid off (and those cars have certainly broken down.) People that were approaching retirement when Bush won his second term are…. well, okay – bad analogy. They are discovering they will have to work another dozen years to keep from selling plasma to pay bills. For crying out loud, (I love that phrase) during this presidential election cycle, the Phoenix Lander could have made it from Earth to Mars 4 times!

I have already tuned out all the primaries, caucuses, straw polls, tallys, 3D pie charts, projections, comparisions, and anything Anderson Cooper says…. you name it. If I hear one more “pick me for your 3AM phone calls,” “No, really – I still am a Maverick… ignore all the party line politics I have played the last eight years,” or “Hey, just because my spiritual advisor is a nutjob – doesn’t mean I am,” I just may go postal. No, not with a gun. I’m just saying, it may be enough to make me stop using and go back to standing in lines at the Post Office. Scary, huh?

I know that saying anything negative about America’s favorite reality show, will get the ire of a few readers, but I will save you the time by posting some of the expected responses for my bashing of Presidential Idol.

PolySciStudent: There is no more important issue than who we elect. It is people like you that give us such poor choices of our elected officials, blah, blah, blah… (I’ll spare you the fourteen paragraph ramble about our Constitution, voter turnout, history of elections, and something about a cheese sandwhich that is more interesting, but completely baffling)

Hillary4Sure: Don’t joke about the 3AM phone calls… it is a matter of life and death. We are at condition Orange right now, and when Hillary is elected we will go to condition Red on everybody with a funny sounding name. Fear is good. (Does that work? Let me see – If you don’t love this article, you’ll catch a 20-year case of the hiccups, get pinkeye, and develop stinkfoot.)

CommentTroll56: Wow, what an idiot. The Phoenix Lander could have made the trip 4.9234 times – get your math right! (Aha… it appears my troll bait worked – whenever possible in a post, I try to round numbers wrong just to see how long it takes these dark little creatures to pop up. It gives them something to do and it gives me a laugh.)

O-Face08: Barrack has already made a statement about the Reverend Wright – why won’t you people drop this? Hey Hillary4Sure, don’t you realize that Hillary is old? Our guy is fresh and exciting. (Hey, I’m just glad to hear that 46-going-on-47 is the new 20. I guess that means I have at least another decade before I have to grow up.)

You are typical of the shills for the one-party system. The Republicrats or Demicans… whatever you call yourselves will make sure that all newborns are microchipped. You’ll all wish you voted for Dr. Ron when you are sitting in your FEMA camp being de-loused. (Uh… I got nothing.)

Bubba911: I don’t care about this bull, I just want to hear about O’Dell and Ramos. And stop bashing the post office – my brother works there.

Care to join in the fray?

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0 thoughts on “Found Rattling Around: a column by Chris Doelle

  1. My feelings on the matter mirror H.L. Mencken when he said…

    “When a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of sense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is the fact that they are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save the most elemental — men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and whose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted, the candidate must either bark with the pack or be lost… All the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum.’ The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

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