HENDERSON — Came back to my parents’ place for Mother’s Day tomorrow and at the first stoplight coming into town a cousin pulled up beside me on a Kawasaki crotch rocket. We talked while waiting for the light to change and then I said I’d see him later, which turned out being every one of the next four traffic lights.
He turned off at the Herschel’s and, at the next light after that, a snaggle-toothed tween leaned out of a truck and said to me through my opened window: “Hey, maaaan, I like your mullet.” Everyone in the car seemed to think it was funny except the man driving, apparently the dad, who turned red as his brood broke into cackles. “You’re going to get us shot, boy,” he said in reprimand and the windows quickly went up. At the next light, the boy rolled down the window to say he was sorry.
“He thought you had the mullet head,” his sister added, which was not particularly helpful in explaining what had just transpired. I do need a haircut but I defy anyone to say my hair resembles a mullet. By this time, I was both cracked up and confused.
Henderson is that kind of cozy.
One of my favorite parts of a visit to the ancestral homeland is being able to leaf through the big, old-fashioned pages of the Henderson Daily News. Leno only does headlines on Monday’s but HDN delivers six days a week.
I rarely pick it up and am not tickled about something. This time it was a paid notice that ran in last Sunday’s paper. Printed without commentary in a simple box, it appears to be the reprint of a note left anonymously on a home owner’s doorstep.
To whom it may concern:
I am writing you this letter asking you to please have someone cut your fence line and edge your curb. The fence line looks horrible because it is overgrown by about 5 inches. This should be cut every time your yard is mowed. Terra Nova and our neighborhood have always looked nice and clean. Since you have moved in, your yard looks unmanaged with weeds and tall grass. Please take care of this before it gets any more out of hand. There are plenty of lawn crews to contact if you cannot do it yourself.
Then printed underneath it is a reply.
To whom it may concern:
You know nothing about us. How sad. You are so little a person.
This is the last therapy. My husband has A.L.S. (Lou Gehrig’s disease), and it will take him from us all too soon. We don’t need your advice or help.
700 Tate Street
Not part of Terra Nova
CORRECTION: The story was corrected to show that the Henderson Daily News publishes six times a week, not five. It does however maintain that funny weekend schedule of small town (and not so small anymore towns) everywhere — the Sunday paper delivered late Saturday afternoon.